Useless

Current blog status : Privated

Haha its quite silly why i'm even blogging now since i privated my blog and i didnt invite anyone-.- But i really feel like typing hahas. Well today, phs red team lost our crucial game to dunman 0-2 =( so we cannot proceed to the 2nd round, as we also lost to punggol 0-2 that time. We really shouldn't have lost to punggol(we mostly lost ourselves), but who am i to say that since i can't contribute to anything in the team? It really sucks to be on the team and know that you are not ready to go on court and take over anyone and have the selfconfidence to PERFORM and SHINE on court. My heart really breaks when i see my team mates crying in hurt and pain, all the while thinking and blaming myself for being so lousy and incompetent that i can't help in any way. All those who played on court today keeps blaming themself and saying they let us all down, but i think i let everyone down the most, for not being ready to cover any of you at anytime, and knowing that i'll screw up if i get placed on court. Coach talked to me when we reached sch, he said the reason i cannot do well is that i am not concentrating during training, i must admit, i have deproved alot since cgirls, but everyone else is improving. I don't know, is it because i can't move on? Must change the mentality already, i am in b girls, its tough shit, but gotta stick with it yo. And i know i can shine if i put in my 101% concentration and determination, i also have God with me to guide me through the hardships and pain to my destinition- success and glory for Him. I think i'm going to meditate every night from now on the prepare me for the next day hahas=) Goodbye