Crying and bleeding on the inside,

Life's been going super sucky for me lately.
Heart's hurting, nothing's going right.
I try so hard, but why do I still lag behind the others?

I wonder,

Why do I care so much? Why do I always want perfection?

Why do I expect so much from myself? Why can't I be better?

Why is my life like that?

Why why why?

Seems like a question I've been constantly asking myself nowadays.
I'm putting in double, but I'm not even getting half back!
Maybe it just takes time, maybe I've yet to learn from my mistakes, maybe I'm just not ready?
So many maybes. I need an answer!
Sometimes, I really think I'm not good enough for me.